My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think i have two assholes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
