so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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