I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize