All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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