I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
