Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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