I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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