I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
