first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
