It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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