True but thats because hes a fetus.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize