Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
