do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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