i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
