Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
