All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
