You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
