"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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