it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
