u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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