do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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