You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
