so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
