well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize