He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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