The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
