i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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