Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
