He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize