I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize