Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize