Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize