Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
