After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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