Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
