is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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