oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
