shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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