it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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