Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
