u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My ass is underappreciated
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again