Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?

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  (925) 2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you? http://tfl.nu/l1ls
  Replies (11) Good night (619) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

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  (419): your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy http://tfl.nu/gzdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1155) Bad night (2396) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
  Replies (45) Good night (1364) Bad night (4893) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  don't worry... so do I

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  (773): it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man" (708) I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights. (773) don't worry... so do I http://tfl.nu/9jx5
  Replies (24) Good night (520) Bad night (3889)
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  (585): View more from New York

  when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood

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  (585): when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood http://tfl.nu/vfy0
  Replies (12) Good night (8978) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3522) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!

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  (757): then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?! http://tfl.nu/zl1v
  Replies (14) Good night (892) Bad night (3978) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

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  (714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9
  Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy

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  (443): We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy http://tfl.nu/feuw
  Replies (14) Good night (1864) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.

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  (401): My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar. http://tfl.nu/tapz
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (2030)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You say this every welcome week, bro.

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  (513): Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere (480): You say this every welcome week, bro. http://tfl.nu/zrmk
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (362)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.

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  (513): If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy. http://tfl.nu/099u
  Replies (7) Good night (938) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1252) Bad night (256)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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  (916): Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right? http://tfl.nu/1so7
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt

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