9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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