I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
