theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Panties = found
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