Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The feeling are messing with the penis
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
