I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
