i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
