I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize