i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize