were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
