I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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