Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
