U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
