yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
