census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
