he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
