i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dear god my vagina.
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