Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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