I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
